- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
God is Dead
“God is dead…and we have killed Him…”
This bit of quote is from Friedrich Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra. When I first read it, I became incensed as my natural inclination to defend my God and my beliefs sprang forth. I found myself wanting to . .
THE BURIED LIFE: 20 Things I Should Have Known at 20.
1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. From bank fees to interest rates to miracle diets, people who are not educated are easier to get money from and easier to lead. Educate yourself as much as possible for wealth, independence, and happiness.
2. Do not have faith in institutions to…
